The Destroyer!
That's what I was thinking.
I Was Thinking The Same Thing, Wendy!
3:02 So "What's The Harm In Actually, In Actually Just Trying To Be A Little Bit Honest And Open About It [INFIDELITY, SEXUAL BETRAYAL]?" YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION, WENDY! He Didn't Ask About The Benefits Of Monogamy, He Asked About Speaking Openly To His Sexual Partner About SEXUAL INFIDELITY. Want ME To Answer That Question For You, Wendy? I Will Later. In The Meantime Interviewer, Read The Quote On The Dr. Barash Video.
http://www.chronicle.com/blogs/brainstorm/sex-at-dusk-2/50099
"Her X Nigga Mad He Wanna Threat The Bitch! Told Her He Gon Break Her Neck If He Catch The Bitch!" - 12 Gauge Shottie Referring To ME (Ole Pussy Ass Wigga), But I've NEVER Had A Girlfriend Mr. Gauge, So I've NEVER Had An X! Or SEX!
THREAD THE NEEDLE PIMP!
0:32 If A Man Knows That His Wife Is Having SEX With Someone Else Even If She Has Had A Hysterectomy Or Even If He's Absolutely Guaranteed She's Using Birth Control He's Still Going To Find It Very Difficult To Deal With That Reality And By The Same Token I Think If A Man Is Having SEX With Another Woman, Even If He's Had A Vasectomy And Even If His Wife Knows That He's Had A Vasectomy, There Will Be This Gnawing Sense Of Sexual Jealousy That's Involved Because For Millions And Millions Of Years These Two Were Not Divorced. Sexual Behavior With Someone Else Carried With It The Risk Of Either Reproducing With That Other Person Or Tending To Destabilize The Pre-Existing Relationship...Even If We Could Prevent, Even If We Could Guarantee Non-Reproduction That Would Not End Sexual Jealousy...The Fact That He's Having SEX With Her Is Going To Be Seen As Threatening To The Woman...As Long As We Are Biological Creatures...FOREVER.
The 2 Links Below Counter Christopher Ryan's Arguments In The Video Above. So, Read Them.
The first thought I had while reading SaD was: How did a society like the one it posits ever evolve? The book’s depiction of a utopian free-loving past, where everyone cooperated peacefully without jealousy or fidelity, apparently defies some fundamental principles of evolutionary logic. Most important of them is this: genes which give their bearers an advantage their own replication will dominate at the expense of those that don’t. That reasoning should apply with a vengeance here. In any group of human beings, if some men cared about paternity while others didn’t, the ones who did care would invest resources largely in their own offspring, while the ones who didn’t would spread their resources thin, investing in their own children and the other men’s children indiscriminately. (Even if you somehow started out with no men who cared about paternity, a mutant who did care would be bound to arise eventually.)
What would happen as a result? Obviously, the children of men who care about paternity would get more overall resources, would therefore be more likely to survive, to thrive and to have children of their own, and would make a greater contribution to the gene pool of the next generation, passing on their genes for jealousy and paternal care. Meanwhile, the children of the indiscriminate men would get fewer resources, would be less likely to reproduce, and would be less likely to pass on their genes for not caring about paternity. When this scenario is extended over many generations of evolutionary time, the gene for concern for paternity should drive its competitors to extinction. Ryan and Jetha don’t seem to have an argument for why this inexorable evolutionary logic doesn’t apply in this case.
Jealousy is a painful emotion, and most of us hate to admit that we ever feel it. To be romantically jealous is to recognize that your partner might feel attraction to someone else, that he or she might act on that feeling, and that you might be powerless to stop it. This awareness can trigger a cocktail of emotions so noxious—rage, insecurity, self-doubt, embarrassment—that many people prefer to deny its existence.
“This is a culture that does not tolerate the emotion,” says Esther Perel, a therapist and author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. “The majority of people don’t have a conversation about jealousy, because the feeling itself is taboo.”
That’s unfortunate, Perel says, because while jealousy can be dangerous in its extreme forms, the feeling is completely normal. “It’s a universal human emotion, one of many that is part of the multilayered experience of love.”
What’s more, it can actually be a catalyst to improving relationships. If we could just learn to listen to it, we could improve our romantic and sexual lives—and save some china.
The Purpose of Jealousy
Jealousy is usually defined as the emotional reaction to a threat to one’s relationship from a real or imagined romantic rival. It differs from envy in that it always involves a third party. “Envy is ‘I want what you have.’ Jealousy is ‘I have something that I think you want, that I think you’re coming after,’” says Erica Slotter, a professor of psychology at Villanova University.
One reason it’s painful to admit to feeling jealousy is that it could indicate a power imbalance in a relationship, says David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and the author of Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex. “It’s a signal that your partner is higher in mate value or that you are generally threatened or fearful that your partner might leave,” he says, “so people intentionally try to suppress the expression of jealousy.”
...
But jealousy also has a purpose: Evolutionary psychologists see it as a mechanism that helps people ward off mate-poaching. “When there is a threat and people become jealous, that jealousy motivates them to engage in behaviors that interfere with the partner going somewhere else,” says Edward Lemay, a professor of psychology at the University of Maryland.
http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/Fisher-et-al-Rejection.pdf
http://helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/15npolve.pdf
"We assume that jealousy is a necessary evil, the collateral damage of love," says Blevis, author of Jealousy: True Stories of Love's Favorite Decoy. "'Jealousy lives upon doubts,' said the 18th century moralist Francois de la Rochefoucauld. But what exactly are we doubting? All human emotions exist to help us figure out who we are in the world, and jealousy is no exception. It is a resource we call on when we feel at risk, when our sense of self is put in jeopardy. When we are jealous, we are in fact in the grip of an identity crisis."
Invariably, however, we misdirect our attention. Blevis explains: The
target of jealousy, the one who has provoked our jealousy, shatters our
self-regard. From the rival emanates an aura of magical attributes that he or
she possesses and we don't. Yet we are the ones who assign those attributes to
the rival; what they really represent is something unrealized in ourselves.
"It signals our wish to be better than ourselves, to reconfigure who we
are." Blevis cites the case of a patient who had not dared to pursue the
career of her dreams—becoming a doctor. But her boyfriend left her for a woman
more accomplished than she. "She came to realize that her jealousy of her
rival masked her craving for the part of herself she had ignored. She lost the
boyfriend, but she went back to school."
It's a mistake to assume that jealousy always involves love, argues Aaron
Ben-Ze'ev, a philosopher who heads Israel's University of Haifa. "A man
who despises his wife may nevertheless become jealous when someone else looks
covetously at her. Here the central feature is losing to a rival." In this
case, he insists, jealousy is more germane to the personal characteristic of
selfishness than to love.
Psychology Today.
ADDICTION: SOMETHING THAT INTERFERES WITH A PERSON'S FUNCTIONING; A PATTERN
OF BEHAVIOR THAT LEADS TO YOUR LIFE BEING IMPAIRED.
(Surfer Magazine. May, 2010.)
...But psychologists distinguish between emotions and motivations - brain
systems oriented around planning and pursuit of a specific want or need and our
colleague, Art Aron, was wedded to the idea that romantic love was not an
emotion but a motivation system designed to enable suitors to build and
maintain an intimate relationship with a preferred mating partner. Indeed,
because of Art's dedication to this idea, we had begun our brain scanning
project with two hypotheses: My hypothesis that romantic love is associated
with dopamine and/or other closely related neurotransmitters in the brain; and
art's theory that romantic love is primarily a motivation system, rather than
an emotion. As it turns out, our results suggest that both hypotheses are
correct. Romantic love does seem to be associated with dopamine. And because
this passion emanates from the Caudate Nucleus, motivation and goal-directed
behaviors are involved. In fact...I came to believe that romantic love is a
primary motivation system in the brain - in short, a fundamental human mating
drive. First of all, like drives, romantic attraction is tenacious; it is very
hard to extinguish...Like drives, romantic love is focused on a specific
reward, the beloved, in the same way hunger is focused on food...Like drives,
romantic love is exceedingly difficult to control...It is harder to curb
thirst, for example, than it is to control an emotion, such as anger...Very
important, all of the basic drives are associated with elevated levels of
dopamine...So is romantic love. And like all the other drives, romantic love is
a need, a craving. We need food. We need water...and the lover feels her/she
needs the beloved.
Why We Love. Fisher, p. 74-75.
Take Dopamine. Elevated levels of dopamine in the brain produce extremely
focused attention, as well as unwavering motivation and goal directed
behaviors. These are central characteristics of romantic love. Lovers intensely
focus on the beloved...Dopamine involvement may even help explain why
love-stricken men and woman become so dependent on their romantic relationship
and why they crave emotional union with their beloved. Dependency and craving
are symptoms of addiction - and all the major addictions are associated with
elevated levels of dopamine. Is romantic love an addiction? Yes; I think it is
- a blissful dependency when one's love is returned, a painful, sorrowful, and
often destructive craving when one's love is spurned. In fact, dopamine may
fuel the frantic effort a lover musters when he/she feels the love affair is in
jeopardy. When a reward is delayed, dopamine-producing cells in the brain
increase their work, pumping out more of the natural stimulant to energize the
brain, focus attention, and drive the pursuer to strive even harder to acquire
a reward: in this case, winning one's sweetheart. Dopamine, thy name is
persistence. Norepinephrine...may also contribute to a lover's high...increasing
levels of this stimulant generally produce exhilartion, excessive energy,
sleeplessness, and loss of appetite - some of the basic characteristics of
romantic love...increasing levels of norepinephrine could also explain why the
lover can remember the smallest details of the beloved's actions...This liquor
is associated with increased memory for new stimuli...A striking symptom of
romantic love is incessant thinking about the beloved. Lovers cannot turn off
their racing thoughts...Lovers are obsessed. And doctors who treat individuals
with most forms of obsessive-compulsive disorder prescribe SSRI's...such as
Prozac and Zoloft, substances that elevate levels of serotonin in the brain. So
I came to suspect that the lover's persistent, involuntary, irresistible
ruminations about a sweetheart, might be associated with low levels of some
type...of this chemical compound...All those countless hours when your mind
races like a mouse upon a treadmill may be associated with reduced levels of
serotonin coursing through the highways of the brain. And as a love affair
intensifies, this irresistible, obsessive thinking can increase - due to a
negative relationship between serotonin and it's relatives, dopamine and
norepinephrine. As levels of dopamine and norepinephrine climb, they can cause
serotonin levels to plummet. This could explain why a lover's increasing
romantic ecstasy actually intensifies the compulsion to...obsess about a
romantic partner...The feelings of euphoria, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite,
as well as the lover's intense energy, focused attention, driving motivation,
and goal-oriented behaviors, his/her tendency to regard the beloved as novel
and unique, and the lover's increased passion in the face of adversity might
all be caused, in part, by heightened levels of dopamine and/or norepinephrine
in the brain and the lover's obsessive cogitation about the beloved might be
due to decreased brain levels of some type of serotonin.
Why We Love. Fisher, p. 52-55.
"My Craniums Connected To My Membrane, My Membranes Connected To My Esoph O Gare Us!" - Mr. Free
Perhaps the most important finding was activity in the Caudate
Nucleus...Scientists have long known that this brain region directs bodily
movement. Only recently have they come to realize that this enormous engine is
part of the brain's "reward system," the minds network for general
arousal, sensations of pleasure, and the motivation to acquire rewards. The
Caudate helps us to detect and perceive a reward, discriminate between rewards,
prefer a particular reward, anticipate a reward, and expect a reward. It
produces motivation to acquire a reward and plan specific movements to obtain a
reward...The more passionate they were, the more active their Caudate
was...Another striking result from our fMRI was activity in the Ventral
Tegmental Area (VTA)...The VTA is a mother lode for dopamine-making cells. With
these tentacle-like axions, these nerve cells distribute dopamine to many brain
regions including the Caudate Nucleus. And as this sprinkler system sends
dopamine to many brain parts, it produces focused attention, as well as fierce
energy, concentrated motivation to attain a reward, and even mania - the core
feelings of romantic love...Drenched in chemicals that bestow focus, stamina,
and vigor, and driven by the motivating engine of the brain, lovers succumb to
a Herculean courting urge...That "inflammable matter"...is, at least
in part, dopamine churning up the Caudate Nucleus and other parts of the
brain's reward system - a primordial network that drives the lover to focus his
or her attention on life's grandest prize - a mate who may pass on their DNA
toward eternity...We are coming to understand the drive to love...This passion
emanates from the motor of the mind, the Caudate Nucleus; and it is fueled by
at least one of nature's most powerful stimulants, dopamine. When one's passion
is returned, the brain tacks on positive emotions, such as elation and hope.
When one's love is spurned or thwarted instead, the brain links this motivation
with negative feelings, such as despair and rage.
Why We Love. Fisher, p. 69-76.
"My Craniums Connected To My Membrane, My Membranes Connected To My Esoph O Gare Us!" - Mr. Free
"SHE BROKE MY HEART AND I LET HER SUCCEED CUZ TO A PREDATOR THAT'S AN ORGAN THAT YOU REALLY DON'T NEED!" - Mr. Free
Rejection by a sweetheart plunges a lover into one of the most profound and
troubling pains a human being can bear. Sorrow, anger, and many other feelings
can sweep through the brain with such vigor...Psychiatrists and neuroscientists
divide romantic rejection into two general phases: "Protest" and
"Resignation/Despair." During the protest phase, deserted lovers
obsessively try harder to win back their beloveds. As resignation sets in, they
give up entirely and slip into despair. As a person begins to realize a beloved
is thinking of ending the relationship, they generally become intensely
restless. Overcome by longing and nostalgia, they devote almost all of their
time, their energy, and their attention to their departing mate. Their
obsession: Reunion with their lover. Many of our scanning subjects...told me
they never stopped thinking about their "rejecter"; every waking hour
they were plagued by thoughts of "him" or "her."...Most of
all, rejected people yearn for reunion. So they protest relentlessly seeking
the slightest sign of hope..as adversity intensifies, so does romantic passion.
This phenomenon is so common in literature and life that I coined a term for
it: "Frustration Attraction." And I suspect that Frustration
Attraction is associated with brain chemistry. As you know, dopamine is
produced in factories in the "basement" of the brain, then pumped up
to the Caudate Nucleus and other brain regions where it generates motivation to
win designated rewards. If an expected reward is delayed in coming, however, these
dopamine-producing neurons prolong their activities - increasing brain levels
of this natural stimulant. And very high levels of dopamine are associated with
intense motivation and goal-directed behaviors, as well as with anxiety and
fear...Psychiatrists...maintain that this protest response is a basic mammalian
mechanism that activates when any kind of social attachment is ruptured...And
these psychologists believe, as I do, that this protest reaction is associated
with elevated levels of dopamine, as well as norepinephrine. Rising levels of
dopamine and norepinephrine, they say serve to increase alertness and stimulate
the abandoned individual to search and call for help...sometimes the romantic
rift can cause the abandoned partner to panic...The panic response is common in
nature; it is called "separation anxiety." When a mother leaves a
baby bird...these tiny creatures often become profoundly disturbed...distress
calls are frantic and frequent...short-term stress also triggers production of
dopamine and norepinephrine and suppresses serotonin activity - the combination
of elixirs associated with romantic love. How Ironic: as the adored one slips
away, the very chemicals that contribute to feelings of romance grow even more
potent, intensifying ardent passion, fear, and anxiety, and impelling us to
protest and try with all of our strength to secure our reward: the departing
loved one. The attempt to win back one's sweetheart, a craving for
"him" or "her," separation anxiety, and panic at the impending
loss: all these reactions make sense to me. But what causes rejected people to
get so fiercely angry?...Because love and hate are intricately linked in the
human brain. The primary circuits for hate/rage run though regions of the
Amygdala downward to the Hypothalamus and on to centers in the Periaqueductal
Gray, a region in the midbrain. Several other brain areas are also involved in
rage...But here's the key: the basic brain network for rage is closely
connected to centers in the Prefrontal Cortex that process reward assessment
and reward expectation. And when people and other animals begin to realize that
an expected reward is in jeopardy, even unattainable, these centers in the
Prefrontal Cortex signal the Amygdala and trigger rage. Known to psychologists
as the "frustration-aggression hypothesis," this rage response to
unfulfilled expectations is well known in animals. For example, when a cat's
brain circuits for rewards are artificially stimulated, they feel intense
pleasure. If this stimulation is withdrawn, however, they bite. And each time
the pleasure is withdrawn the cat gets angrier. Likewise, scorned lovers just
get more and more furious...So romantic love and abandonment rage are well
connected in the brain. And when you think about it, these passions have much
in common. They are both associated with bodily and mental arousal; both
produce excessive energy. Both drive one to obsessively focus one's attention
on the beloved. Both generate goal-directed behaviors. And both cause intense
yearning, either for union with a sweetheart or for revenge against a jilting
loved one...I am not surprised that abandonment rage sometimes erupts into
violence. Jilted men and women have wasted priceless reproductive time and
energy on a partner who is deserting them. They must start their courtship
search again. Moreover, their reproductive future has been jeopardized - along
with the social alliances, their personal happiness, and their reputation.
Their self-esteem is severely damaged. And time is dribbling by. Nature has given
us a powerful purgative mechanism to help us release a rejecting mate and get
on with living: RAGE...Eventually, however, all these feelings wane. The
focused attention on the failing partnership, the drive to win back the
beloved, the showdowns, the separation anxiety, the panic, even the rage: all
dissipate with time. Then the rejected person must deal with the new form of
torture: resignation and despair...loss of a loved one usually triggers deep
sadness and depression in the human animal, what is known to psychologists as
the "Despair Response."...Men and women tend to handle love-sadness
differently. Men are often more dependent on their romantic partners, probably
because men, as a rule, have fewer ties to relatives and friends. Perhaps because
of this, men are more likely to turn to alcohol, drugs, or reckless driving
than to their kin or buddies when they despair over a rejecting mate. Moreover,
men are less likely to reveal their pain, containing their sorrow within the
inner mental core...The feeling of despair has been associated with several
different networks in the mammalian (including human) brain. Among them is the
brain's reward system and it's fuel: dopamine. As the abandoned partner
gradually realizes that the reward will never come, the dopamine making cells
in the midbrain (that become so active during the protest phase) now decrease
their activity. And diminishing levels of dopamine are associated
with...depression...Like love, hate is blind; for some no form of violence is
too extreme. And this violence is driven, in least in part, by brain chemistry.
As you recall, when lovers are first rejected, they protest - a reaction that
is accompanied by soaring levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These elevated
levels of natural stimulants probably give the stalker, the batterer, and the
murderer their focused attention and wild energy. Moreover, rising levels of
dopamine often reduce levels of serotonin in the brain. And low levels of
serotonin are associated with impulsive violence against others.
Why We Love. Fisher, p. 160-169.
"I Got My Homeboyz On It, Now They In LOVE!" - Richard Rich!
3:34 mr. free, the reason sex sells more than cocaine is because the neural pathways that are activated when you use cocaine are the same neural pathways that are activated (and activated more strongly) when you watch pornography or have sex! in other words, mr. free, the same physiological changes that take place in your body when you do cocaine are the same physiological changes, but at a more intense level, that occur when you watch pornography see or have sex! that pleasure center in your brain is triggered in both circumstances!
"I Got My Homeboyz On It, Now They In LOVE!" - Richard Rich!
LOVE Is Like The White Gir1! In LOVE Wit Tha White Gir1!
Because romantic love...is exceedingly difficult to control, and because it
produces craving, obsession, compulsion, distortion of reality, emotional and
physical dependence, personality change, and loss of self-control, many
psychologists regard romantic love as an addiction - a positive addiction when
your love is returned, a horribly negative fixation when your love is spurned
and you can't let go...Romantic love is an addictive drug. Directly or
indirectly, virtually all "drugs of abuse" affect a single pathway in
the brain, the Mesolimbic Reward System, activated by dopamine. Romantic love
stimulates parts of the same pathway with the same chemical. In fact, when
neuroscientists...compared the brain scans of their love-stricken subjects with
those of men and women who had injected cocaine or opiods, they found many of
the same brain regions became active including the Insular Cortex, the Anterior
Cingulate Cortex, the Caudate, and the Putamen...
Why We Love. Fisher, p. 182-188.
Although I was never in love with her, I experienced the same motivation
and emotions described above. And if someone were to have scanned my brain
during this time, they would have noticed that the same neural circuits and
biochemicals (as those in love, above) were activated at the heights of my
longing, despair, frustration, rage, etc. When in my first phone conversation
with her she moaned, groaned, and breathed heavily, and when in my second to
last conversation with her she said she "chose me," wanted me to
strip for her, and asked me what I'd do to her sexually, the motivation to
attain, what I considered, an easy reward (the woman sexually and emotionally)
was triggered within me. However, when communication with her failed and my
attempts to court her were denied (she changed her mind in our last
conversation and turned me down) I became frustrated and angered. And as the
following weeks passed and my attempts to win her back (numerous phone calls)
also failed, my longing to reconnect with her turned into an obsession. But as
more time passed, and the realization that she wasn't going to come back set
in, this obsession became accompanied with rage and an overwhelming sense of
hate and revenge seeking towards her because she had denied me the expected
reward (herself, sexually and emotionally), rejected and abandoned me.
(Needless to say, my dopamine and norepinephrine levels were sky high during
this time, while my serotonin levels were extremely low.)
THE BEST ANALOGY I CAN MAKE CONCERNING THIS IS THIS: Going into a game against
a team that doesn't think you're that good (doesn't respect your game), someone
on that team guards you, does a good job and outplays you and then they confirm
their assumption ("see, he wasn't that good"). But in your mind and
in actuality you're much better, but you didn't play to the best of your
ability (you could've played much better). Now, you can't let this go and you
have to get some get back. You have to prove to that team and that person that outplayed you and everyone that saw that mothafuccin' game that, "NEVER IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE CAN YOU THINK THAT
YOU CAN OUTPLAY ME. YOU'RE NOT ON MY MOTHERFUCKING LEVEL. AND I'M GOING TO SHOW
YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT ON MY MOTHERFUCKING LEVEL AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT
THAT THOUGHT NEVER CROSSES YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MIND IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE
AGAIN (THAT THOUGHT THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME). (It's an all consuming need/want to REDEEM yourself. You become
obsessed.) Similarly, I became obsessed with proving to her that her
assumptions about me were wrong and that I was more than worthy* to be with
her. In fact, I had to show her that she wasn't worthy of me and that in fact,
I was SUPERIOR to she and whoever she chose over me.
Males Are Innately Driven To Eliminate (Physically Harm Or Kill And Drive Away) Rivals* Or Males That They Perceive To Be Rivals.
*SEXUAL THREATS TO THEIR MATES OR POTENTIAL MATES.
*SEXUAL THREATS TO THEIR MATES OR POTENTIAL MATES.
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