http://www.chatelaine.com/health/sex-and-relationships/why-do-good-people-stay-in-bad-relationships/
Ricky Williams, I Came Into This World By Myself (I Wasn't A Twin Or Product Of Some Other Type Of Multiple Birth), I've Been Single All Of My Life, I've Gone Long Periods Of Time Not Interacting With People, And I'm Going To Die By Myself Unless I Die With Multiple People In A Plane, Train, Automobile Crash, Etc. Plus, I've Done About 2 Month In The Hole (Solitary Confinement), Which I Didn't Mind At All. So What's A Few More Years Being Single Or An Entire Lifetime Of Singlehood, For That Matter? NOTHIN' RICH.
"WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS BORN BY MYSELF AND WHEN I DIE I AIN'T LEAVIN' WIT NOBODY ELSE" - MR. FREE
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_reasons_to_stay_single
SINGLES http://instagram.com/p/uZDexwoELz/?modal=true
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201904/do-lifelong-singles-fare-better-later-in-life
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/27/sexual_regret_study_evolutionary_explanations_for_why_men_and_women_regret.html
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/27/sexual_regret_study_evolutionary_explanations_for_why_men_and_women_regret.html
In many ways, relationships are at the heart of social anxiety disorder. People with this disorder find it difficult to establish new relationships, and their avoidance of other people puts them at risk for feeling lonely, having fewer friendships, and being unable to take advantage of the enjoyment of being with people who share their hobbies and interests. If they should become involved in a long-term, committed relationship, individuals with social anxiety disorder are less likely to be able to express their emotions. As a result, any relationships they do manage to forge will be less satisfying, both to themselves and their partners.
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| Each of these forms of anxiety disorder appears to be in the gene pool because it served some important function in evolution. |
We fear being negatively judged and rejected by our peers. The dread of standing before a group and talking is top of the anxiety list and surveys show that we fear it more than being attacked by a shark. Social anxiety is the most common psychological problem in the U.S. and affects 40 million adults, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. At a primal level, we fear rejection because in our primitive past, being thrown out by the group was a death sentence. Early humans survived by their ability to collaborate. Being rejected by the social group meant fending for yourself and almost certain death. We are inhibited by anything that threatens our status in our social group.
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| Those individuals who had higher anxiety...were less likely to die in accidental circumstances before they were twenty-five...compared to non-anxious people... |
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| If ancestral individuals have had seriously threatening experiences, their long term survival might be promoted if their lessons were not forgotten (re-experiencing symptoms); if they remained for an extended period on high alert (overarousal symptoms); if they avoided high-risk locations and activities (avoidance behaviours) and were quick to use other defences as determined by contextual demands. |
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| In the case of social anxiety disorder, which involves fear of evaluation by others and avoidance of social contact, there may have been an advantage to knowing one's place in the social hierarchy in ancient times, avoiding confrontation with powerful figures in one's own tribe by averting one's gaze, and withdrawing from the social scene to forestall potential conflicts with others. |
Social Anxiety Has A Strong Genetic Component And It Can Be Brought About And Further Exacerbated By A Psychologically And Physically Abusive, Male Dominant, Hierarchical Household. If You're Innately Inclined To Be Introverted And You're Physically And Mentally Beaten Down On A Consistent Basis You'll Tend To Exhibit Certain Anxiety Disorders.
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One possibility is that the times they are a-changing, such that the
modern world is becoming less dangerous than it was even back in 1946.
Although the newspapers continue to dwell on the dangers of modern life,
it is in fact much less dangerous to live today than it was in the good
old days (see Is the world becoming a nicer place to live?).
Another possibility is that anxiety is still adaptive, but only in
very small doses -- the level of worry that keeps most normal people
from rock climbing in Yosemite without a rope or jumping into the tiger
cage at the zoo. Higher than normal levels of anxiety may not be
necessary, and may indeed be harmful, especially in the modern world.
Why do some individuals have anxiety levels that interfere with, and eventually shorten, their everyday lives? Northwestern University's Jon Maner and I discussed several possibilities in a paper called “When adaptations go awry: Functional and dysfunctional aspects of social anxiety.”
For one, there is sometimes a mismatch between our current
environments and the environments in which our psychological mechanisms
evolved (most of us no longer need to worry about lions, tigers, or
bears). For another, every decision involves trade-offs: anxiety can
keep you out of troubles, but worry-driven avoidance can also keep you
from enjoying many of life’s opportunities. Where you set your personal
smoke detector will depend in part on your recent and chronic
experiences. A combination of genetic predispositions and past
sensitizing experiences will lead to a range of individual differences
in anxiety, and some of us will simply be less lucky than others.
"men are more likely to use alcohol and drugs to cope with anxiety, so what looks like a drinking problem may actually be an underlying anxiety disorder...anxiety in men often manifests as anger...Men are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women"
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