WE PREFER TO DATE AND MATE WITH THOSE WHO ARE LIKE US (LOOK LIKE US, THINK LIKE US, ACT LIKE US, COME FROM THE SAME RACIAL BACKGROUND, ETHNIC BACKGROUND, SOCIOECONOMIC BACKGROUND, EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND, ETC ) BECAUSE WE'RE NARCISSISTS. READ THE LINKS ABOVE!
We take for granted the fact that, whenever we want, we can see an unbelievably detailed image of ourselves in the mirror
But consider that for the majority of human history, you were never able to actually, really see yourself. A thread on the humble, magical mirror.
But consider that for the majority of human history, you were never able to actually, really see yourself. A thread on the humble, magical mirror. http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/ep02177194.pdf
http://everybodylovesshiraz.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHvRXWAO9sohttp://everybodylovesshiraz.blogspot.com/2012_03_01_archive.html
“Women with large salaries, postgrad degrees, prestigious professions, and high self-esteem place greater value on wealth and status in a husband than other women do...Poor men place no higher value on wealth or earning power in a wife than other men do”
goodreads.com/book/show/8356
26:15 I Have Many NARCISSISTIC Traits In Common With Brian Blackwell!
"U IN LUV WIT YO SELF AND SHE IN LOVE WIT YO WEALTH...YYYYYY" - BABEE BASHIR
Although most research has focused on the aspects of relationships such as relative desirability and emotional dissatisfaction that lead to affairs, an often-overlooked predictor of infidelity is personality. Are people with certain personality characteristics more likely to leap into the arms of another? To answer this question, Todd Shackelford and I gave an extensive battery of personality tests to a group of 107 married couples in their newlywed year. Rather than settle for mere self-reports of personality, we secured three relatively independent evaluations: self-reports, reports from the spouse, and reports from two interviewers, a man and a woman. More than 100 measures of personality were examined, ranging from adventurousness to zaniness, but only three proved to be strong predictors of susceptibility to infidelity.
The first was narcissism. People high on narcissism have a grandiose sense of self-importance, often exaggerating their accomplishments or talents. They expect to be recognized by others as superior, and often get infuriated when such admiration is not forthcoming. Typically preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, status, or brilliance, they believe that they are "special" and unique, and that the usual rules and norms of social life do not apply to them. Narcissists require excessive admiration and go to great lengths to evoke it from others, often in a socially charming manner. A hallmark of narcissism is a profound sense of entitlement. Narcissistic people have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment, expect that others will automatically comply with their expectations, and become furious when they don't. They take advantage of others, and although all people sometimes use others for their own ends, narcissists turn interpersonal exploitation into an art form. They make friends specifically for their wealth, generosity, and connections, and especially for the ease with which they can be exploited. Narcissists selectively chose those whom they can exploit, neglecting people who are more skeptical of their grandiose claims of superiority and specialness.
Perhaps most central for infidelity, narcissists typically lack empathy for the pain and suffering they cause others. They are so preoccupied with their own needs and desires, they neglect to consider how their actions might hurt even those closest to them. Finally, narcissists are frequently envious of others, resentful of those who might have more success, power, or prestige. Their envy may be linked to their fragile sense of self-esteem, since narcissists oscillate between feelings of grandiosity and feelings that they are worthless. Good behavioral markers of narcissism include showing off one's body (exhibitionistic), nominating oneself for a position of power (grandiose), taking the best piece of food for oneself (self-centered), asking for a large favor without offering repayment (sense of entitlement), laughing at a friend's problems (lack of empathy), and using friends for their wealth (interpersonally exploitative). All of these qualities seem conducive to gaining gratification outside marriage.
Narcissism proved to be highly linked with susceptibility to infidelity, even in the first year of marriage. Narcissists admitted that they are more likely to flirt with others, kiss others passionately, and go out on romantic dates with others. Their spouses concurred. They were also judged to be more susceptible to having one-night stands, brief affairs, and even serious affairs, and again their spouses concurred. These judgments of susceptibility to infidelity were borne out over the next four years. On follow up, we found that those who scored high on narcissism during their newlywed year were indeed more likely to have sexual affairs with others. Interestingly, narcissism proved to be as strong a "rick factor" for infidelity in women as in men.
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| I Completely Disagree With Rafer. Just Because Everyone's Doing It (Being Narcissistic In This Case) Doesn't Mean That It's Right (Good For You And The Community As A Whole). Now, Rafer, Read About The 10 Signs Of Narcissism Here https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201507/10-signs-you-re-dating-narcissist Are Any Of These Characteristics Good For You And The Community As A Whole? http://www.meredithfsmall.com/2014/06/the-culture-of-narcissism.html |
Schoolin' The Professor!
Narcissists, of course, can be very charming, entertaining, and highly engaging in social contexts. But those married to them are in for some suffering. Because of their excessive self-absorption, wild sense of entitlement, and lack of empathy for the harm they cause others, narcissists seek sexual gratification and esteem boosts from their affair partners. They undoubtedly justify their actions - after all, they are all special, not subject to the same petty rules that others must slavishly follow, and so deserve special sources of gratification.
Two other personality characteristics make it more likely that a spouse will stray: being low on conscientiousness and being high on a scale labeled psychoticism. Low conscientiousness is characterized by traits such as unreliability, negligence, carelessness, disorganization, laziness, impulsivity, and lack of self-control. Good behavioral markers of low conscientiousness include neglecting to pay one's bills on time, forgetting to pick up a friend after promising to do so, forgetting to thank others for their help, arriving late for a meeting, forgetting to turn off the lights after leaving a room, and impulsively purchasing an item without considering whether it's affordable.
The psychoticism scale is something of a misnomer, since high scores are not really psychotic. Rather, high scores tend to be very impulsive and lack inhibitory control, much like those low on conscientiousness. In extreme cases, high scores closely resemble the clinical picture of sociopathy, a personality disorder marked by a short-term sexual strategy, social conning, manipulativeness, and interpersonal exploitation. High scorers on this scale also lack empathy, like those high on narcissism. Good behavioral markers of psychoticism include laughing when a dog is hit by a car, showing indifference when a child is injured, suddenly breaking off friendships without warning or explanation, disappearing for several days without explanation, and impulsively shouting "obscenities" at other drivers he believe cut him off. Men, as you might guess, score higher on psychoticism than do women.
Both low conscientiousness and high psychoticism proved to be solid predictors of marital infidelity. Like those high on narcissism, these people flirted, kissed, and date others more frequently than their more conscientious and less impulsive peers. And they more often leaped into bed with others without thinking of the consequences, both for one-night stands, brief flings, and even more serious affairs. These personality predictors showed remarkable consistency for men and women. Neither sex, it seems, is exempt from the long reach of personality in luring some married people into the enticing arms of others. A selfish, manipulative, and impulsive personality does not inevitably cause infidelity. But it raises the odds.
The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex. Buss, p. 148-151.
"HOW THE FUCK YOU LOVE ME WHEN YOU DON'T LOVE YO SELF?!" - CRAWF DOGG
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/coach-ronnie-ann-ryan/taking-nude-selfies-even-remotely-smart-anymore#.VDhvMnbg5gV
http://www.amazon.com/Narcissism-Narcissists-Behave-Causes-About/dp/1492232114/ref=sr_1_77?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1428687473&sr=1-77&keywords=NARCISSISM
"Look At ME...They LOVE ME" - Showt Dawg (Loving A Pimp)
"Look At ME...They LOVE ME" - Showt Dawg (Loving A Pimp)
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