Evolutionary psychology itself provides little comfort for those who would like to believe that a happy marriage is a simple and natural achievement. As David Buss has noted, "Humans were not designed by natural selection to coexist in niceness and matrimonial bliss. They were designed for individual survival and genetic reproduction. The psychological mechanisms fashioned by these ruthless criteria are often selfish ones." (Decoding Love)
"LOVE DON'T MIX WITH THIS PIMPIN'...END UP LOVIN' ME TOO MUCH!" - MR. FREE!
Human mating and child rearing involve a deep cooperation and collaboration between mother and father. But the fitness costs and benefits that the two parents experience are not identical. Understanding mating as a cooperative conflict helps us to understand why humans have such a strong pair bond, why that bond is seldom permanent, how much each parent contributes to raising the family, and the balance of power between men and women within society...Anybody in a relationship has to negotiate the tension between the tight cooperation needed to build a life together and possibly raise children and the conflicting interests of mates. This tension is played out between individual men and women and within families, and is shaped by the economic and social circumstances those individuals experience...The importance of cooperation and commitment are reflected in the ways we venerate romantic generosity, kindness, sexual fidelity, and selfless parenting - all traits that reinforce the cooperative bedrock of sex and reproduction. Yet the positive aspects of sex are also undermined at every turn by the fact that partners can act in self-interest at the cost of their mate. We recognize this in the way we...scorn cheating spouses, selfish lovers, parents who desert their families and partners who are unkind or violent. All of these expressions of self-interest threaten cooperative relationships and the societies within which partners live...Just as evolutionary biologists have recently realized that males and females often have quite different evolutionary interests, economics has had a similar epiphany...Nowadays it is well understood that economic interests of men and women within households are often in conflict..."cooperative conflicts" are a general feature of many interpersonal or intergroup relations, including family living...The link between evolutionary sexual conflict theory and economic cooperative conflict theory is more than a coincidence. In this chapter I explore the evolutionary basis of cooperation and conflict at the core of mother-father relationships and show how evolution creates the cooperative conflicts that economists model...evolutionary interests of individuals - including the interests of an individual woman and the individual man she mates with - are often in furious conflict. (Sex, Genes, And Rock 'N' Roll)
Robert Trivers' Parental Investment Theory and the primary source of conflict between the sexes
Many Of You Females Have NO IDEA Why You Like That Guy Or Why You Like Guys That Fit A Specific Personality And Physical Type! Nor Do You Know Why You Fall In LOVE (What The Purpose Of Falling In LOVE Is) Or Why You're In LOVE With The Idea Of Falling/Being In LOVE! Hopefully Some Of My Writing Will Help Explain Why You're Attracted To Certain Guys And Why You Want To Fall In LOVE With That Guy Or Why You LOVE Being In LOVE! (LOVE IS IN THE AIRE!)
"I like the guy and if he treats me well and reciprocates the like i fall in LOVE with him (we fall in LOVE with one another). i don't know why i fall in LOVE with him and want to have his baby, but i do!" - girl
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLc8UuiBQy0/?taken-by=princess.olinana
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNv6d0mjVDU/?taken-by=_mamamejin
And Another One. She's Not Attractive, But She Was Pregnant! (Many Of The Mixed Hawaiian Girls And Full-Blooded Samoan And Tongan Girls In Hawaii Get Pregnant In Their Late Teens And Early Twenties! That's Because Hawaii Is An r-Selected Cultural Environment And All Of The Lower Class People Employ A Fast Life Strategy! This Is Also Why It's A Liberal, Democratic State!)
"I like the guy and if he treats me well and reciprocates the like i fall in LOVE with him (we fall in LOVE with one another). i don't know why i fall in LOVE with him and want to have his baby, but i do!" - girl
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLc8UuiBQy0/?taken-by=princess.olinana
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNv6d0mjVDU/?taken-by=_mamamejin
And Another One. She's Not Attractive, But She Was Pregnant! (Many Of The Mixed Hawaiian Girls And Full-Blooded Samoan And Tongan Girls In Hawaii Get Pregnant In Their Late Teens And Early Twenties! That's Because Hawaii Is An r-Selected Cultural Environment And All Of The Lower Class People Employ A Fast Life Strategy! This Is Also Why It's A Liberal, Democratic State!)
Natural selection is all about reproduction. For humans, as for other organisms the reproduce sexually, it takes to two tango...
...
Romantic love is one of the most profound emotions in our human repertoire. Its mysterious power routinely transforms lives, motivates great acts and inspires sublime creativity. Yet the ultimate evolutionary reason humans have the capacity for such potent love is something so common that we take it for granted: baby making. It takes a very special form of persuasion for two independent and unrelated individuals to come together and stay together despite all their many differences for long enough to breed. Love enables this to happen, tricking couples - sometimes only fleetingly - into feeling as though they are "no more twain, but one flesh."
But when we fall in love, will it last forever? Dr. Samuel Johnson famously described second marriages as "the triumph of hope over experience," yet even at a couple's first wedding we often have to suspend in hope our disbelief that anybody can love as fully or as profoundly as the wedding rites demand. Experience and ample evidence suggest that far too often love is time's fool, and in the matter of unflinching love Shakespeare was more wrong than right. Love is many things, most of them deeply wonderful, yet it is a rare couple for whom it is an ever-fixed mark. Many couples who are truly, madly, deeply, irritatingly in love find themselves in time all out of love.
...
Romantic love is one of the most profound emotions in our human repertoire. Its mysterious power routinely transforms lives, motivates great acts and inspires sublime creativity. Yet the ultimate evolutionary reason humans have the capacity for such potent love is something so common that we take it for granted: baby making. It takes a very special form of persuasion for two independent and unrelated individuals to come together and stay together despite all their many differences for long enough to breed. Love enables this to happen, tricking couples - sometimes only fleetingly - into feeling as though they are "no more twain, but one flesh."
But when we fall in love, will it last forever? Dr. Samuel Johnson famously described second marriages as "the triumph of hope over experience," yet even at a couple's first wedding we often have to suspend in hope our disbelief that anybody can love as fully or as profoundly as the wedding rites demand. Experience and ample evidence suggest that far too often love is time's fool, and in the matter of unflinching love Shakespeare was more wrong than right. Love is many things, most of them deeply wonderful, yet it is a rare couple for whom it is an ever-fixed mark. Many couples who are truly, madly, deeply, irritatingly in love find themselves in time all out of love.
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How do we square this conflict-riddled view of sex and mating with the rose-tinted Shakespearean wonder of falling in love? Most of us remain convinced that feelings like love, lust and jealousy govern our actions, AND THE IDEA THAT WE MIGHT FALL IN LOVE WITH A VIEW TO INCREASING OUR EVOLUTIONARY FITNESS CAN SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY INARTICULATE PRATTLING THAT ONLY A STEREOTYPIC GEEK-SCIENTIST COULD COME UP WITH. BUT LOVE AND LUST, LONGING AND LOATHING, JEALOUSY AND SEXUAL BOREDOM ARE ALL GENERAL TOOLS THAT EVOLUTION HAS BUILT OVER TIME...
Any explanation of human behavior that relies only on the feelings and motivations of which we are consciously aware is limited. There are some feelings and urges that we can recognize and articulate verbally, there are others that we can vaguely identify, and there are many others that we don't even realize are operating. Our awareness of how we feel probably evolved in order to bring our emotions and motivations, and our responses to them, under the control of the brain's executive functions. These functions are the cognitive abilities by which we anticipate the consequences of our actions, plan what we say or do, work toward a goal, and refrain from doing inappropriate things.
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For a female mammal, motherhood begins with the massive investment of carrying the developing young in her uterus and nourishing them through a placenta until they are born. Her body then produces milk that contains all the energy and nutrients the growing young need until they can be weaned onto solid food. She has to travel with the young at a slow enough speed for them to keep up with her,or return to the young several times a day to feed them. As a result she is heavily constrained in how much food she can obtain for herself and her young, and both she and the young are at serious risk of being killed by predators...The most successful mammalian females tend to be those that can gain the resources they need in order to bear the enormous burden of pregnancy and milk production. The huge investment that mothers make in each offspring makes every female incredibly valuable to males as a mate.
Mammalian fathers, on the other hand, typically get low marks for effort, tending not to have much direct involvement in the raising of offspring. Mothers mate with the male who holds ownership of the place or the social group in which she lives, and the key to male success is winning dominion over such a place or group and defending it from would-be usurpers. (Sex, Genes, and Rock 'N' Roll)
Like females of many other species, human females pay disproportionately high reproductive costs. The total biological cost to the human male for the privilege of reproducing amounts to a couple of teaspoons of semen, which can be regenerated in a matter of hours. In contrast, women get a raw deal. They endure nine long months of pregnancy, which not only compromise their ability to perform everyday activities, but also expose them to health risks and create increased nutritional demands. This is followed by a risky and painful delivery, the physiological stress of lactation (nursing an infant takes time and energy), which continues for three years or so in hunter-gatherer societies, and responsibility for the care of a dependent infant. The additional energy demands alone are astounding. An average pregnancy costs a woman approximately 70,000 extra calories. This is not such a problem in the modern developed world, but during the Pleistocene (as in areas where poverty is rife today), it meant scrounging for extra nourishment. Compared to males, females had little leisure time...
...The exorbitant price that women pay for reproduction has influenced their sexual preferences. Research shows that women are attracted to males who are able and willing to provide resources to offset their reproductive costs. Of course, this preference has also sharpened the deceptive talents of men, who may be more than willing to swear undying love just as long as it gets the object of their lust into bed. Words, after all, are cheap, and women are rightly inclined to treat declarations of love with a liberal dose of healthy skepticism. (Why We Lie)
THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY THEY HAD SEX! THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE PURPOSE OF SEX! HA HA HA! THEY WERE SO DUMB THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE PURPOSE OF SEX WAS!
"These emotions serve an evolutionary purpose. Specifically, they allow two people to bond in a way that increases the likelihood they’ll procreate and maintain an environment in which the resulting offspring survive," writes @DrDebraSoh.
SO WHAT'S THE POINT HERE? MALES AND FEMALES FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE LOVE PROVIDES THE BOND THAT KEEPS THE RELATIONSHIP INTACT LONG ENOUGH FOR A CHILD TO BE CONCEIVED, BIRTHED, AND RAISED (PREFERABLY RAISED UNTIL THE CHILD REACHES REPRODUCTIVE AGE, SO IT TOO CAN REPEAT THE CYCLE AND THUS PASS ON ITS PARENTS' GENES). SO WITHOUT LOVE THE BIOLOGICAL AND NEUROLOGICAL CHANGES THAT TAKE PLACE IN A COUPLE (A MATING PAIR) WOULD NOT OCCUR AND THERE WOULD BE A GREATER LIKELIHOOD, ESPECIALLY ON THE MALES PART, TO ABANDON ONE'S PARTNER AND POTENTIAL CHILD (LOVE IS THE GLUE THAT KEEPS EACH PARTNER COMMITTED TO HIS/HER MATE AND ENSURES THAT HE/SHE PROVIDES FOR ANY POTENTIAL OFFSPRING THEY HAVE BECAUSE AS THE PASSAGES ABOVE ILLUSTRATE PREGNANCY AND CHILD-REARING ARE HEAVY BURDENS (HEAVY COSTS FOR SEX) FOR A SINGLE FEMALE)! AND LOVE IS TRIGGERED EVEN WHEN THERE IS NO POTENTIAL FOR REPRODUCTION EITHER BECAUSE OF CONTRACEPTION OR A HYSTERECTOMY OR CASTRATION (STERILIZATION). SO, IN THIS MODERN DAY AND AGE WHEN CONTRACEPTIVES, HYSTERECTOMIES, AND STERILIZATION ARE WIDELY USED OR COMMONLY EMPLOYED, LOVE AND ALL OF THE CORRESPONDING BIOCHEMICAL AND NEUROLOGICAL CHANGES LOVE PRODUCES WILL STILL OCCUR (LOVE WILL ARISE EVEN WHEN THE COUPLE KNOWS THAT THERE'S NO CHANCE OF A CHILD BEING CONCEIVED). WHY? BECAUSE THE MIND AND BODY STILL OPERATE LIKE THEY'RE IN THE STONE AGE WHEN CONTRACEPTION, A HYSTERECTOMY, OR CASTRATION (STERILIZATION) DIDN'T EXIST. DO YOU GET IT? I GET IT! NOT WRITTEN WELL, BUT HOPEFULLY YOU GET IT!
I'M STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL GUYS! I'M STILL A VIRGIN! A NERDY ONE AT THAT!
N O LOVE
As Demonstrated In My Writing Above, I Understand The Evolutionary Purpose Of LOVE (You're Conned By Your Genes Into Falling In LOVE So That Your Genes Have A Better Chance Of Getting Into The Next Generation Through Your Offspring). So, Since I Understand LOVEs Evolutionary Purpose I Reason To Myself, "Why Involve Yourself In The Mating Game. It's Just A Way For Evolution To Con Us Into Passing On Our Genes And Its Fraught With Tension, Turmoil, Conflict, And Hardship From The Start (You And Your Mate Are At Genetic And Evolutionary Odds From The Get Go). So Why Put Yourself Though All Of That? It's Much Easier Being Asexual. You Save More Money This Way, You Save More Time This Way, And You Save Yourself The Trouble And Torment Of Developing And Sustaining A Relationship As Well As Potentially Sustaining A Life (Sustaining An Offspring's Life)." This Is Why I've Taken Myself Out Of The Dating And Mating Game.Why Fuck Up Your Life When You Can Just Fuck Yourself? Does This Make Sense? Read Below If It Doesn't Make Sense.
I'M STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL GUYS! I'M STILL A VIRGIN! A NERDY ONE AT THAT!
"boy u don't luv nuttin'" - yog nic noc
As Demonstrated In My Writing Above, I Understand The Evolutionary Purpose Of LOVE (You're Conned By Your Genes Into Falling In LOVE So That Your Genes Have A Better Chance Of Getting Into The Next Generation Through Your Offspring). So, Since I Understand LOVEs Evolutionary Purpose I Reason To Myself, "Why Involve Yourself In The Mating Game. It's Just A Way For Evolution To Con Us Into Passing On Our Genes And Its Fraught With Tension, Turmoil, Conflict, And Hardship From The Start (You And Your Mate Are At Genetic And Evolutionary Odds From The Get Go). So Why Put Yourself Though All Of That? It's Much Easier Being Asexual. You Save More Money This Way, You Save More Time This Way, And You Save Yourself The Trouble And Torment Of Developing And Sustaining A Relationship As Well As Potentially Sustaining A Life (Sustaining An Offspring's Life)." This Is Why I've Taken Myself Out Of The Dating And Mating Game.Why Fuck Up Your Life When You Can Just Fuck Yourself? Does This Make Sense? Read Below If It Doesn't Make Sense.
You might think it is sad that we have to be worn out, or boozed up, or loaded with dopamine in order to have sex. But if it weren't for the reward, why would we do it? As Schopenhauer wrote, "Let one only imagine that the generative act was neither a want nor accompanied by extreme pleasure, but an affair of pure rational reflection: could then the human race continue to exist? Would not rather every one have so much compassion for the coming generation as to prefer to spare it the burden of existence?"
His fellow German, Edward von Hartmann, argued that we have to be bribed into sex, our reason shut down, because sex leads to no good: marriage, the pain of childbirth, disappearing money, disillusionment in love. Just about the worst thing that can happen, Hartmann thought, is to be conscious that "the dreamed-of bliss in the arms of the beloved one is nothing but the deceptive bait" used to get us to procreate. We have the illusion of control, but, of course, it's our unconscious breeding instinct, working through our brains, that's driving our behavior.
According to Hartmann, the clash of biology with social norms could call for a drastic truce. "If love is once recognized as evil, and yet be chosen as the less of two evils as long as the impulse persists, reason necessarily demands a third, namely, eradictaion of the impulse, i.e., emasculation, if thereby an eradication of the impulse be attainable." He then approvingly quoted from Matthew 19 a passage about men who made themselves eunuchs in order to reach heaven. (And people wonder why there are few good German comedians.)
This view may seem overly gloomy. But it's true that the promise of the reward keeps us from thinking too much about the possible downside of sex and makes us willing to work for it.
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The hypotheses we've presented can seem pretty dark, can't they? Love is an addiction..love is just chemicals stimulating neural activity on well-defined circuits, and not meant to elevate us to some kind of higher spiritual plane, but to lure us unthinkingly into reproduction, maximizing our evolutionary "fitness". It's all so base.
(The Chemistry Between Us)
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The hypotheses we've presented can seem pretty dark, can't they? Love is an addiction..love is just chemicals stimulating neural activity on well-defined circuits, and not meant to elevate us to some kind of higher spiritual plane, but to lure us unthinkingly into reproduction, maximizing our evolutionary "fitness". It's all so base.
(The Chemistry Between Us)
love by a man's urge to know any offspring is his
(So, My Layman Reasoning For A Male To Fall In LOVE And Stay In A Relationship In The High School-Like Paragraph Above Was Incorrect! Males Fall In LOVE For Paternity Certainty Purposes (So That They're A Little More Certain That The Offspring They're Providing For Is Their Genetic Own!)!
her love by a need to keep a male partner to help improve survival of the offspring
(What I Wrote In The High School-Like Paragraph Above About Females Falling In LOVE Is Still Correct, Though!)
Heaven...I'm In Heaven...
DID I TELL YOU GUYS THAT I WAS AN ASCETIC WHEN I WAS STUDYING JUDAISM AND ISLAM? LIKE, I WASN'T MASTURBATING AND I WAS FORCING MYSELF TO SUFFER (ENDURE UNNECESSARY HARDSHIPS)?
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